No Formula

There Is no formula for healing.

What I mean is there is no ‘step one, step 2, and step 3’ for getting back to normal when you've found yourself in a difficult situation.

I like to have control and do things that have a step-by-step process and have a set outcome. Maybe that’s why I’ve always enjoyed school: the set schedule and being given specific instructions on how to do an assignment.

But life is not like a science exam. Life is not reading a book, answering questions and then memorizing all of the important facts so you can ace the test.

Life is not like a drawing. Life is not making a grid on a picture and copying it exactly box-by-box,  erasing and re-drawing.

Life is not like a steady job. Life is not putting in 40 hours every week and receiving a pay cheque of the same amount every other Friday.

Whenever I find myself in a difficult situation my first instinct is to try and figure out how to fix it: “What can I do to end this difficulty?” “How can I make sure everything will be okay?” Lately I’ve been finding myself wishing I could make this situation all go away, or that I could just fast forward a few months so I can return to “normal.”

It’s frustrating for me to see a problem and try to fix it but then not get the results I was expecting. It’s hard when there isn’t exact steps to take to get better. Sometimes it feels like all I ever do is wait! I waited to see dr.s, I waited for tests, now to get better…I need to wait again. There are things I can do to get better, but there isn't that step-by-step process that I like.

There is no formula.

BUT  there is  a God-a God who calls us to not only trust Him but also to rejoice in ALL circumstances! Wherever we are, whatever were struggling with, whatever we’re waiting for: if we just turn to Him, He can use us right where we are! He is calling us to a greater purpose and He will use whatever you have to offer! Any talents, any passion, any past experiences, even our brokenness and imperfections! He has a purpose for you that only you can fulfill!

Have confidence today because God has chosen you and called you! He will show you how He wants to use you. When you’re broken, feeling worthless, experiencing setbacks, or just worn, remember that God is working behind the scenes. He will take what the enemy has meant for harm and turn it around for your good!
Even though there is no formula we can continue moving forward by just taking life one day at a time because you are chosen! God is equipping you to overcome every obstacle in this life.

He’s chosen you!

“You didn’t choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won’t spoil. As fruit bearers, whatever you ask the Father in relation to me, he gives you.” {John 15:16}

 

To be honest, I have never liked the saying, “time heals.” Because time alone doesn’t heal our hearts; God heals our hearts. But I believe He heals in His own timing–a timing that is best for His children because it teaches us perseverance and builds our faith (see James 1:2-4), and it ultimately draws us closer to Him.

I love this song by John Waller, called “While I’m Waiting.” It’s a beautiful, simple message reminding us to praise God while we wait.

“I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord”

Healing: the UPS & the DOWNS

Setbacks are inevitable. I knew they would come. Although, I hoped that they wouldn’t, it’s part of the process. I had thought that everything would just settle down in a few weeks but now I’m realizing that it may take a little longer than I had anticipated... and that’s okay!

My body has been reacting to stress through seizures for 6 months; I can’t just expect my brain to suddenly just know how to stop! My teacher told me this good analogy:

“It’s like having a broken leg. You can’t just start to walk on it and expect it to be better just because you know it’s broken. It still needs time to heal.”

So, I can't just return to my life and expect everything to be normal. My brain still needs time to heal and adjust.

The journey can feel SO LONG and some days I just feel worn.

Maybe it’s because I am only looking at the road ahead and all the things I want to be doing but can’t-instead of looking at how far I’ve come. When I look back to where I was just a week and a half ago, that’s when I realize that I have made progress! Huge progress, actually! It’s just hard to see that when your in the midst of a bad day.

We have to remember that the struggle is part of the story. The nightmare we may be living—or have lived at some point—is something God can use to remind us of our need for Him. He can take our broken pieces and make them into something beautiful if we only trust Him.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” {2 Corinthians 12:9-10}

I know because I am experiencing it. I am now only beginning to see the pieces come together. It may take days, or weeks, or months before I can see the other side. In the meantime: I know whose arms will never fail me, whose ears will never tire of my cries and whose shoulder I can always lean on.

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength." {Philippians 4:13}

 This truth carries me through the things that seem beyond what I can possibly manage. With God’s strength and the encouragement from the people around me, Perseverance is possible!

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings; because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” {Rom. 5:3-5}

It doesn't matter what your challenge is, God has enough strength to help you conquer it. Nothing is too big for Him. Let Him strengthen you when and where you need it. With Him at your side, perseverance will come.

Sometimes I will feel discouraged, but I can’t let that keep me down. It’s a process that will take time. Each time I get back up from a setback, I’ll grow stronger and move closer to the end goal.

Thank you to the many, MANY people who have been praying for me, encouraging me, and reading this blog (over 530 views in 2 weeks!). Please continue to pray for patience as we work towards healing, pray that God would open my eyes to the hidden stressors in my life, pray that I will be able to say no to the things I’m not ready for, and pray that I wont allow setbacks discourage me.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” {Joshua 1:9}

It Seemed Impossible

"As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength." (Psalm 138:3)

For anyone who doesn’t know: for the last 6 months. I have been experiencing an increasing number of unexplained seizures. We had many dr. appointments, tests, and ER visits to try and figure out why they were happening. This past weekend I was admitted to the epilepsy unit at the hospital to determine if my seizures were epileptic or non-epileptic.

Just before heading into London I prayed and asked God for 3 things:

1. That I wouldn’t need to stay in the hospital very long (even though we were told it would take 5-10 days).
2. That I wouldn’t need to take medication.
3. That I would just get better quickly and easily.

At that point, the chances of any of those things happening seemed impossible and I was told several times ‘not to get my hopes up because that probably wouldn't happen’. But nothing is impossible with God! God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we would like him to, but in this case He did, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I was certain  that He would.

I was in the hospital for 3 days (didn't need to stay long: answer to prayer #1) when they had gathered up enough information from my VEEG to confirm a diagnosis. The official diagnosis is Non-epileptic Seizures. Basically, this means that at the time when the seizures started I probably had some stress built up in my life. Then, as I began to have more seizures I would become more stressed about why they were happening and as a result I would have more seizures. That became a vicious cycle with more stress building up after more seizures.

There is no set treatment for the seizures. Most peoples seizures stop right after they are diagnosed because an enormous weight is lifted off their shoulders once that they finally know what is happening to them! (healing quickly: answer to prayer #3)

We have been told that my seizures would stop within a few weeks just on their own! With no medication, no therapy…nothing! They will just stop! What an amazing answer to prayer(#2)!

The next step in recovery is learning how to recognize and manage stress better so that I can prevent future seizures. It may take a little time and work, but at least now we know what’s causing them and what we need to do.

 

Now, We can finally see the end of this journey! It will soon be over! Can you believe it!?

I believe that my healing is nothing short of a miracle from God. When we think of miracles we usually think of instantaneous healing but other times God gives them a little more time. Maybe that is because we could not handle it at once or maybe it is because God wants us to learn how to really keep depending on Him-I don't know.What I DO know is that "In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) I'm not sure why I had to wait so long to get diagnosed but God's hand was in the waiting and It was for my good.


In Matthew 14, When Peter was starting to walk on the water towards Jesus, what made Him afraid? It was the same waves and wind as when he got out of the boat, but as the winds blew and the waves rose Peter took his eyes off Jesus. He stopped believing that Christ alone could keep him safe on the water.

Once you start to believe that Christ isn’t enough for your impossible situation, you begin to sink.

Nobody enjoys the thought of waiting on Gods perfect timing while we are going through a painful trial. Sometimes it can be so difficult to look at our seeming impossible situation and believe that God is still in control and working things out. Despite all the frustrations through the past 6 months, God has been showing himself to me and giving me little glimpses of hope throughout the whole journey, but as soon as we look to our own power and strength to overcome a struggle, we will never be enough.

If you are going through a situation that seems impossible to you, remember to keep your eyes focused on God. True peace comes from knowing God will never fail you, no matter how impossible your situation seems.

God doesn’t take any pleasure in watching his precious children struggle and wait, but through each of your struggles God will reveal more of himself to you.